The Dreaded “Time To Leave”: 3 Tips That Actually Help

by Lara Speights, Director of Strategic Projects

You know what I’m talking about, right? That moment when you’ve stayed longer than planned because you just can’t muster the energy to start the “it’s time to go” saga. Or, honestly, when you skip going somewhere altogether because your body is already stressed pre-dreading the leaving meltdown.

We’ve all been there.  

Along my parenting journey, I’ve picked up a few strategies that have made leaving a little smoother (note, I intentionally didn’t say easier, but smoother).  

1. Give a heads-up and pick one last hurrah
About five minutes before leaving, I’ll tell my kids something like, “Hey, we’re heading out soon, so pick one final thing to do.” This gives them a mental heads-up so they’re not caught off guard (basically the parenting version of a barista announcing “last call” so that everyone has the chance to wrap-up.)  

Side note: my kids do not yet have a sense of five minutes, so once that “one last thing” is done, we’re out.

Related hack: if you set a quick timer on your phone, then it’s the ringing timer, not you, that delivers the news.  

2. Offer two choices that are both acceptable to you
Once our “one last thing” is done, if we’re still not feeling it, I give two playful options:  

“Ok, it’s time! Should we walk out like a lion or like a kitten?”  

If there’s still hesitation, I might add, “Hmm, I think I’m going to be a lion. What about you?”

The key here, which I’ve learned from experience, is to NOT ask “Are you ready to go?” when what you really mean is “It’s time to go.” If they answer no, a showdown is primed because they gave an honest answer that’s now being ignored.  

If even after two choices the departure is still feeling too bumpy (hello, overtired, overstimulated, hungry kids), I can offer a final choice: “We can walk out together, or I can carry you out. What do you choose?”  

And you know, some days we skip out hand-in-hand, living out the daydreams of parenting I had before I actually had children. Other days, I’m walking out carrying a toddler who has somehow morphed into screaming human Jell-O.  

And that’s ok.  

Sometimes leaving is just hard.  

3. Try making a visual plan ahead of time

If you're reading all of this thinking, “I’ve tried all these things but transitions are still really stressful,” a visual schedule might help. Making it together ahead of time can help set clear expectations so that when it’s time to go, you’re just following the plan.  

At CMH, we have created one to help you prepare for your visit: visual schedule  

But no matter how the leaving goes, we want you to know that our CMH staff truly get it. We’re here to help, cheer you on, and make your experience as smooth as possible, whether you walk out roaring or purring.